Wish-washy doesn't always mean clean

Clever title for another ignored blog. Like a lot of my art, the meaning will become more clear well after the paint dries from unintentional plans and theme.

Still giving myself the deadline of putting this website to bed by the end of summer. Once again I have shut down my webstore. I have yet to post more projects, pictures, updates and the like involving my art. I'm hoping to get there someday, but recently it just isn't in the cards.

That's the ONLY thing consistent, it seems.....this whole back and forth to whether or not I'm going to take things by storm without second thought and how I stop and go to where it's enough to make my head spin.

So, here I am, telling probably NO ONE (but myself) that although I intend to do so much with my art in many ways, it might not happen, but still there is a chance it will. I'm simply waiting on a miracle, a win of the lottery or simply just getting off my ass and risking it all. Sounds easy with the third choice, but not with my daughters' futures at stake. I'm battling between being dedicated and being selfish.

We just have to wait and see as I have recently decided to shut myself off from the world. For how long, who knows. I'm concentrating on getting my family through each month.....no more concerts, shows, etc unless it's something that my daughters want to do. I'll still be doing my art and hope I get caught up enough with my ideas to where I can actually get somewhere with it besides self-gratification.

I wish I knew how others do it, but then again, I don't deserve help from those who figured it out themselves. So........here I go....again!